Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Be a Man!

Lately i have been thinking a lot on the subject of the Man. most women will throw around the statement to their men or their sons "be a man" So what is a man? Timothy breaks it down when he is taking about an overseer. 

Miriam Webster definition-one possessing in high degree the qualities considered distinctive of manhood 

so what are this qualities distinctive of manhood i ask myself?

(1) Above reproach(disapproval/disappoint)

A man ought to strive to live his life above reproach, he is not supposed to intentionally disappoint others or his spouse. I use the word intentionally because it is inevitable not to disappoint others because of the different environmental exposures. This takes learning to know what is disappointing to the other person and making informed decisions not to indulge in this so called "disappointing " acts

(2) Husband but of one wife (Faithful)

A man is faithful. I used to think that faithfulness was just physical but faithfulness is mental and emotional too. 

(3) Temperate (showing moderation or Self -Restraint)

Many are the times as a man you will want to have structures or have things done in certain ways , or raise your voice e.t.c The ability to show self restraint in areas where it is your every right to react and not act makes you a Man

(4) Self-Controlled

This is self explanatory

(5) Respectable

Every man has to be estimable, decent of character and behavior and worthy of respect. Respect is earned and not demanded. Just because you are physically a man does not mean you will be respected. The way you carry yourself and treat those around you, will earn you the respect and high esteem. The culture you come from or your upbringing can be engraved in the material of who you are but it does not mean you cannot learn a new thing or two. Give people around you a reason to respect you for how you are and not because of the titles you bear. Remember; Demanded respect breeds resentment.....

(6) Hospitable

Mostly we look at this from the angle of being able to accommodate people. Today it occurred to me that hospitality spreads to ideas and flaws of the other. Real men are Hospitable, they have an ease or willingness with which they can accept or consider new things. Are you open or Closed minded? Well a Man is open minded.

(7) Able to teach

Teachers are considered the most patient. Think of this Pre-school teacher presented with a child who can barely construct a sentence or write anything. They take their time, deal with all the tantrums and imperfections of this child. I don't know how many of us cried silly the first time they were left with a teacher in school, i know i did, but before long this teacher was the name that flowed out of my mouth with reference to all i did. Teacher said do this, or don't do that or that's not the way teacher said it should be done etc.
 Humanly when presented to a stranger or strange environment our very nature reflects on what we have left behind and is remorseful but unless the new environment presents safety and comfort we feel oppressed and caged in but if we find that safety that we had where we are coming from, it is so easy for us to assimilate to our new environment, Ability to teach requires patience and at times stepping down to a level  "beneath your normal level" and that makes a Man!

This are but a few of the things that i am learning, that gentleness is not a western ideology or a lesser you, it just means that you are Man enough to sacrifice.

I conclude by saying " no greater love than this that a man should lay down his life for another" 

A man is sacrifice, 
                         even when its not worth it,
                         even when the other person tramples you underfoot,
Every human heart responds to the language of love, and love is birthed out of sacrifice.....

Let us trash all this ideologies of the world about real men!

Let us embrace our manhood and be the leaders we are meant to be.
Be a Man!



Tuesday, 24 November 2015

let me be me!

i may not smile the way you want me to,
that does not make me a lesser me,

i may not laugh at the jokes you expect me to
 but that doesn't mean i do not find you funny,

when you cry i may not embrace you,
even though i care more than you think,

when i am sad i may not show it,
forgive me i am trying to protect you,

see i am me,
and he made me me,
forgive my silence the word taught me so,
forgive my walls, they made me build them,

once in a while i will take down the beauty,
once in a while i will let go of the decorum,
once in a while i will not be so strong..........

this does not mean i am not me, i am me!

i always will be me!
you have to understand that its me
and decide whether to accept me or leave!

Please let me be me


Monday, 23 November 2015


Today i don't know where to turn
That's unusual because i always do
Today i feel the weight heavy
That's unusual because i am always able to carry it
Today i feel like no one's listening
That's ok coz either way they never do!
Today i feel tired and overwhelmed
That's unusual coz i always got it
Today if i could drive to nowhere
Or run as fast as my legs could carry me
Or dance myself to an emotional ending
I would,
But for some reason my driving seems questionable
And running too far from my reach
And songs to dance loud yet in mute
Today i will sleep
Today i will let myself cry
Today i will dream of sleeping in His loving arms
Perhaps i will be better......cause he makes all things beautiful in his time.

Monday, 17 August 2015

Heart Mind disparity

now faith is the substance of things hoped for........the evidence of things not seen!

faith is failing me today,
i feel tired,
i feel exhausted,
i feel alone though surrounded by many,
just one of those days when my mind does not agree with my heart

i choose not to complain
trying hard to give thanks
reaching my hand out for help
hoping that my eyes would open
and that my heart would perceive
but then again ,,,its just one of those days when my mind does not agree with my heart

he hols my future
he holds my peace
he knows my end
my now and my back then
yet i cannot feel him near
because it is one of those days when my mind does not agree with my heart

pictures of past that could have been
future that is yet to come
a gap i cannot connect
a now engraved in the concept of this great master piece
this one of a kind story of my life
never before told......
and of all days my mind does not agree with my heart

its okay
its in controll
but my mind is racing
doing rounds in the tracks that are my thoughts
and depositing 1000lb feelings in my heart
i can't Justify
i can't explain
see my mind and heart do not agree

i can't move it away in dance
i can't explain its magnitude as i write
i can;t cry it out,
i can't laugh it past me..........
one of those days when my mind challenges the very existence of my hearts belief

tell me again that i am loved
tell me again my heart cannot hear it enough
it will anchor my belief
it will challenge my mind
it will engulf my existence
it will embrace my uncertainities
and cast away my fears
pulling me ashore
to where my mind and heart agree once again


Thursday, 6 August 2015

He's got you

I am thinking to myself the influence of our early life in our present life. It occurred to me that those who are rich and successful either came from very wealthy families or came from very poor families. Those that came from rich families were groomed to inherit and their parents connected them by placing them in the right schools and taking them to schools abroad that they may live in the wealth....probably for most of them their jobs were as a result of connections with their parents or their parents friends.
Those who are extremely poor were motivated because they wanted a better life for their children or wanted to be that person that got their family out of the deplorable situation. Such probably had basic education and struggled their way through pushing their intellect to achieve more than they had in order to compete for the same positions with this children who were groomed for success. Their first jobs were probably not worth mentioning and they worked as slaves to prove that they too deserved better positions. Their breakthrough for the lucky few was at first effort but for many it came at the point of giving up.
You see life is at times that unfair.....you may seem to conclude but have you ever thought of what drives you.
See the "rich kid" is driven by love
The "poor kid"is driven by fear
But they all make it in the end.
It just hit me today that most of us are busy running from our past, we are so afraid of the thought of ending up like our parents or having our children end up like our parents that we work effortless to achieve our "better life". Fear drive to endless working and more energy. Love drive positions us in a place to work with less energy because it shifts our focus from....i must make it by all means to the intended focus that says i can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Scripture has several principles to support this;
He gives sleep to those he loves
He causes to prosper the work of our hands
He has given us all thing pertaining to life and Godliness
He awakens our ears to hear as those who are taught....plus many more

My point is God has got you. It is time you change your running strategy...work hard but in God. He is able to give you divine ideas and divine connections and above all the peace of mind that make you more productive.
Work out of Love because he's got you! He sees and hears and even if you do not believe it he is not unfair though it seems that he is 95%of the time.
Just change the strategy work towrads a goal and nor as though running from a pit..He's got you. Work and trust his decree in jer 29:11 His plans are for good and not evil.


Thursday, 30 July 2015

When home is home no more

When home is home no more
I will cry in my heart
Let my soul tell all its pain
And my heart feel the strain

When home is home no more
I will sit in silence
And wait in the dark
And watch my soul in anguish

When home is home no more
I will miss the gone days
I will remenisce of joys past
And gaze afar of hope to come

When home is home no more
I will come to my senses
I will pick up myself
I will run............run as far as i can

Looking for Jesus,
Looking for my king,
Looking for my father,
Looking for my friend.....

Because in him i will find home
Not the surrounding
Not the people
Not the circumstance

But home! In his heart, resounding in my heart
Finally i will be home and my soul shall rest
Where home forever it will be!


Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Steady My Heart

for the righteous will never be moved,he will be remembered forever. He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm trusting in the lord. His heart is steady ;he will not be afraid until he looks in triumph on his adversaries. He has distributed freely;he has given to the poor;his righteousness endures forever;his horn is exalted in honor............

it gets to that point when you trust what your heart feels. the other day i was reminded that i cannot trust my heart until it beats like Gods heart. many of us are walking wounded and distraught just because of trusting what our heart tells us. see this time i was sure.....i was all in....confirmations and all yet my hear in its deceit and desperate wickedness pulled me to a direction that almost cost me lots. so with love i address my heart today

Dear Heart,

I know that you are that which beats inside of me
that which causes me to hurt, and to love
to be sad and to be happy
to be moved into worship, yet at the same time be drawn to other things......
that from which the issues of my life flow out of.
yet i am also aware that you are desperately wicked,
and if not constrained you can lead me astray,
because it is  from you that my thoughts are incubated,
and emotions brewed until they flow out as actions
and i am aware that you are as fragile as a rose
  and only God can keep you at bay,
and only he can keep you safe
so i have given you to him
because i love you,
so stay in him that you may be steady and not afraid.
he will keep you from breaking and keep you pure.
i give you to him because i understand that i have no power in me to control you.

Heavenly father STEADY MY HEART!

Yours Heartonsearch