Ripping to build

The pain engulfed me like a ranging wildfire,
Every cell of my heart threatening to explode,
It raged in my body and ached in my heart,
Pumping so fast inside its cavity almost breaking its boundaries,
As I counted my losses and replayed the could haves and would haves
My head throbbed hard pursued by its haunting thoughts,
Cries for Help sounded so loud in my head,
But not a whisper was heard from my mouth,
I clenched my sheets and bit hard into my pillow,
Amidst all that shone a dazzling light,
Then he appeared with clothes so white and engulfed me with His peace,
The pain raced away and calm swept over my heart at the warmth of his presence,
Yet come close he couldn't cause I was stained in blood but even in his distance I could feel his love radiating in warmth,
And his voice echo like the dance of the waves in the song of a silent breeze,
And as I asked why, he said it was for my good that I went through that, as he made it clear that my life just like those of the Israelites had become a provocation of his anger and a kindle of his fury,
And that like in Jeremiah 32 he was destroying every memory of it into a sea of forgetfulness,
And this time I did understand for the entrance of his word brings light and understanding to the simple, he had to wipe the slate clean,
For he was Just and he was righteous,
Somehow I was forgiven but had to bear the consequence of being restored,
I had to go through the pain but he would be right there with me assuring me of his presence even when I didn't feel him close, he promised that he was there,
Coz that's the kind of Lover God he is,
Reminding me that he loved me and for me he came,
And though the tears are still falling, and though my bones are breaking,
He assured me he will heal them and bind me up,
That he would restore that which the Palmer worm ate,
That which the locusts destroyed,
He will heal and bring to health, now I understand that in tearing he gets rid of the old and makes room for the new,
Just like he took David's son for his own good,
This is for my own good,
And that this desolate city will once again be a praise to his name,
And I will be a better build,
So for you whose going through the same just know he is write there with you in the storm and you will be better when its all over.
Love heartonsearch.

Grass is greener on your side

I was just sitting down today, then i realised how we often spend life lamenting at the life we have and wishing if only we were allowed to do things differently we would find ourselves on the other side where the grass is always greener. We spend our lives wishing and waiting for
that perfect moment
that perfect job
that perfect house
that perfect man or woman
that perfect body
that perfect friend, church,sibling......... the list is endless. Well i had an aha moment today ,what if the grass is always greener because they that are on the other side took their time to tend and nature their grass? Our generation today is stuck in the popcorn ideology, i want and i have to get immediately. Well a few of us actually do get, but the things they have to do to get immediately would be horrific and mind boggling just to mention. So for all of us who still think grass is still greener on the other side don't be deceived the best things in life come because of taking chances and hard work. You have hidden in you the capacity to make your grass greener too. All it takes is
a little patience
a little love
a little care
a little selflessness
a little risk
and a little effort
and you'll be shocked that it may take you a least amount of time to get started on your lawn than admiring and wishing you could get the neighbors lawn. So today put away your murmuring and complaining and allow yourself to walk at your pace. Do not be rushed by their achievements and be pressured by their success.
Enjoy what you have,
practice and perfect your skill,
appreciate those that are around you,
stop for a minute and thank God for who you are and what he has planned out for your life and appreciate that He's got the blueprint. Be amazed at the architecture that is the world and gain confidence that the same architect is incharge of the project that is your life. Cast not your confidence which has great recompense. Take a chance and do those crazy things they might just turn out to be an invention that will last a lifetime or give you unmatched satisfaction. Reach for the stars, seek God's will, and give it your all,you might just realize that you are too busy chasing after your neighbors lawn when yours was always perfect, just needed some TLC, and that the grass is actually greener on your side!
love
Heartonsearch.

is it worth the investment

many companies before taking on a Project or an investment usually do a cost benefit analysis to see whether it will be worth to undertake the same. it occurred to me just a few days ago as i read my friends page on merger and acquisitions. she went on to explain that marriages are mergers and not acquisitions. this got me thinking that before a decision is made for a merger there must be a cost benefit analysis study that is done by both parties. decisions to merge can be base on weakness, or strength.
weakness
mergers made on weakness decisions are usually in such a way that the person with strength has more rights to decision making.
on strength is based on the we are so good apart think how much better we would be together.
but all this is for another day. back to my analysis. in relationships we find that most of the time ladies base their choices on financial benefits and benefits of being loved while men base it on looks and once in a while character. don't get me wrong there is the rare statistic that actually base it real issues.
 consider how easy is it to get conversations going, can you sit in a room and just talk about anything? how well does this person get you? can you argue and disagree to agree? does this person really consider your input or is he or she bent on showing you his or her superiority and difference in life? are there gaps in character that you really struggle with when with this person? after all this are the things that pop up in arguments or as said as slight comments. find the root of this and address them comments like i don't like a certain thing about you, or this thing about you scares me. i once came a cross such a scenario where the lady was so pretty yet so blond and this dude was so much disturbed by her blondness but would always just pass it on and kindly tell her don't talk just smile. until one day he had to leave her with the friend to attend to the call of nature and men did this chic display all her folly at the surprise of his friend. if there are things that bother you are you comfortable about them or do you want too hide them. count the cost of hiding them before you move on coz this guy was teased so much about it and since h had never accepted that side of her eventually one thing led to another and the guy let her go to protect himself. always remember every investment takes time, energy, heart and emotion. don't be selfish to the other person and don't also deceive yourself. friends are people whom you have accepted for who they are and are a reality to you just as they are. friendship is very important and should be factored in decisions to invest or not. just but a few on one area of friendship. are you really friends. remember too be yourself so that others can be friend the real you and not a clone and get shocked later
build the bridges and you will be able to cross in and out of ones hearts.
with love
Heartonsearch