Ripping to build

The pain engulfed me like a ranging wildfire,
Every cell of my heart threatening to explode,
It raged in my body and ached in my heart,
Pumping so fast inside its cavity almost breaking its boundaries,
As I counted my losses and replayed the could haves and would haves
My head throbbed hard pursued by its haunting thoughts,
Cries for Help sounded so loud in my head,
But not a whisper was heard from my mouth,
I clenched my sheets and bit hard into my pillow,
Amidst all that shone a dazzling light,
Then he appeared with clothes so white and engulfed me with His peace,
The pain raced away and calm swept over my heart at the warmth of his presence,
Yet come close he couldn't cause I was stained in blood but even in his distance I could feel his love radiating in warmth,
And his voice echo like the dance of the waves in the song of a silent breeze,
And as I asked why, he said it was for my good that I went through that, as he made it clear that my life just like those of the Israelites had become a provocation of his anger and a kindle of his fury,
And that like in Jeremiah 32 he was destroying every memory of it into a sea of forgetfulness,
And this time I did understand for the entrance of his word brings light and understanding to the simple, he had to wipe the slate clean,
For he was Just and he was righteous,
Somehow I was forgiven but had to bear the consequence of being restored,
I had to go through the pain but he would be right there with me assuring me of his presence even when I didn't feel him close, he promised that he was there,
Coz that's the kind of Lover God he is,
Reminding me that he loved me and for me he came,
And though the tears are still falling, and though my bones are breaking,
He assured me he will heal them and bind me up,
That he would restore that which the Palmer worm ate,
That which the locusts destroyed,
He will heal and bring to health, now I understand that in tearing he gets rid of the old and makes room for the new,
Just like he took David's son for his own good,
This is for my own good,
And that this desolate city will once again be a praise to his name,
And I will be a better build,
So for you whose going through the same just know he is write there with you in the storm and you will be better when its all over.
Love heartonsearch.